Accept no imitations
January edition
Introduction:
Oi, Oi, Everyone. It has been since December since you have heard from me last and nothing much has changed. Wait, yes it has, I am at home working. Well anyways my job is going much better this session. They have me on 5 projects at once so some days it can be really busy and other days there will be nothing to do. Anyway here is the letter.
Current events: I work now, so stop knocking on the door to room 108 and asking for me, or you can do it the rest of the year just to annoy my old roommate.
National News: I am not important enough yet but… K-Mart is bankrupt. So I bet they have a sale on now. You better stop reading and buy cheap merchandise.
Technology news: Tim has officially finally entered the new millennia. That’s right, Tim now has an AIM screen name. It is amazing I broke down and got one. If you feel the urge to add me to your buddy list my name is agaldor. Truthfully, it is agaldor, it is a rather boring story about who agaldor was so I will not repeat the story for your and my sake. Send me your AIM name and I will add you to my buddy list. In more technology news, Tim is now saving for a laptop. Sorry, I am not building one because I am lazy and incompetent.
Auto week: Tim is still saving for a car. If you would like to donate money please send it to: Tim Conrad
3327 Nutmeg Rd.
Plymouth, IN 46563
Any money you send will be appreciated, because right now I am driving my parent’s stationwagon because my car will not make it to my work. You may also send money for the Tim laptop fund at the same address.
Living Conditions: I live at home. What do you expect?
Work: Tim is now working on his first patent project. I doubt if they put my name on the patent because then the company would have to pay me more money and Biomet is cheap. Sorry I cannot write about the patent but I can bore you with other work news. I am working mainly with UHMWPE (Ultra High Molecular Weight Polyethylene). If I write anymore about it you will all fall asleep (actually I think I may fall asleep) so I won’t.
Internship Opportunities for You: Biomet may be hiring a lot more computer personnel this summer to validate some software (This is your big chance Jon, Biomet has to validate every computer and all the software on each computer). For engineers, there are some internships available for ME, MSE, and other types. If you are interested please send a cover letter, résumé, and a list of at least 3 references, you may be able to include me as a reference, hint, hint. Send it soon, like by the start of Feb.
Social Life: Tim does not have one up here. That’s why I need to come and visit you all. Please send me dates of when I can come visit. That includes you too Crystal and you too Jeremy. Also Tim needs a date. If you know any young lady that would like to be swept off her feet by Tim let me know.
Music: Tim now has a few more CDs. He is even broadening his musical horizons. I bought a Sevendust CD. Sorry no concerts yet, no one to go with to them. However, Rancid and NOFX are touring together soon, so if you know anyone that wants to see them let me know or have them contact me or I’ll find someone myself, it’s a few months away.
Messages to people: Eli, I heard that you are switching to engineering. Awesome. Have fun. Jared, What’s up? Neil and James you guys need to get out and find yourselves some women. This message also goes to all you men out there including myself. To the other James, the one that went to LaVille, where can I find a good cheap labtop? My price range is up to $2100 or a little over. To Skip, wish you luck at robot wars. Joker shall kill all others and beat the snot out of them. I have already sent emails to Jeremy and Crystal and I already have their AIM names, so I have already spoken to you two so I’ll talk to you later. If I missed anyone, sorry but, eh. If you know anyone who would like to be added to or should be added to the Tim Newsletter mailing list, have them send me an email or send me their email or snail mail it. Oh, I forgot Jon, do sent me your resume cover letter and references soon really soon, I mean like by the end of next week seen.
Passage From a book (to increase your culture):
“I don’t need gay company.” from A Time to Love and a Time to Die by Erich Maria Remarque (ok, it is not the best quote I just opened a random page of a random book and this was it, so remember: do not need gay company.)
Editorials: bin Laden Sucks!!!
Sent in by Tim
(If you would like to see your editorial in the Tim Newsletter send it to me and I’ll put it in my next issue)
Goodbyes:
Adios, Auf Weidersehen,
Tim