Accept no imitations
February edition
Introduction:
Oi, Oi, Everyone. I am still alive. Bored out of my mind, but still alive. There is some exciting news afoot so read on. Also, this newsletter is not as funny as the last one but there are more important things like Tim needing a girlfriend and a place to live.
Current events: Yes, the rumors you have heard are correct, I WILL be back at Purdue for ALL of next year and every year after that. All I need now is a place to live when I am there. So, if any of you that are getting apartments need an extra roommate think Tim. Tim in 2002-2003. It is the right choice. It is the only choice. So, choose Tim.
National News: The USA is criticized for its treatment of al-Quada and Taliban prisoners. W Gives the world the finger over the matter. The capitalistic pigs of Enron have plundered the wealth of the common worker. Workers are for some reason surprised. Long live Lenin (wait he is dead and so is communism).
Technology news: Tim is no longer saving for a computer he is just saving for a car. However, I am going to buy a new video card. If you have a video card of at least 32MB and are willing to sell it for a reasonable price we may have a deal…… Also I am saving for a vcr. For those that are interested I have a tv, microwave, and a refrigerator (that right if you are looking for a roommate I have all of those). I will also have a dvd player soon and maybe a PS2.
Auto week: Tim is still saving for a car. If you would like to donate money please send it to: Tim Conrad
3327 Nutmeg Rd.
Plymouth, IN 46563
Any money you send will be appreciated. So far I have received no donations. You are not doing your jobs! I want all of you to set up booths and collect money for this worthy cause. Also if I get enough money I can also buy a PS2. If you choose Tim as your roommate that means that you will then also have a Ps2.
Living Conditions: I live at home, it sucks but at least I do not have to pay rent or pay for food. Tim also needs a place to live at college. If I do not find one I will have to live in the library and eat out of dumpsters. I would then have to sleep on library benches and I would then grow a beard. I would then be a homeless college student and then in the spring semester I would be wine-o because I will be 21 and could be legally one.
Work: Tim is will be doing a double co-op session, so he will be back in the fall and the spring of next year and it will put him back on a regular college schedule. So you get to enjoy Tim for all of next year and the year after that and the year after that. It will be mounds of Tim fun and to make it better Tim will be legally 21 on Dec. 24 2002.
Internship Opportunities for You: Biomet will be hiring computer personnel, Biomet has to validate every computer and all the software on each computer). For engineers, you may still have time to apply for internships. Biomet has already hired 3 more summer interns for my department alone. You could be the next one so apply today.
Social Life: Tim still has no social life up here and Tim has not had a date in so long he is now wondering if he will ever get one. Tim needs a woman or perhaps two. Yes, a woman would make me really happy. I will be visiting Purdue for the weekend on March 1st and 2nd to figure out this housing situation and fill out some paper work. Also, Tim will be at Purdue on March 29th to sign up for fall classes and do some more housing searching. However, you can save Tim the trouble by making him your roommate, if not Tim may have to return to SE1 and no one wants that to happen.
Music: The Sevendust cd “Animosity” is perhaps one of the best heavy metal cds to have come out of 2001. The music is excellent and the lyrics are catchy. A definite must have for any heavy metal enthusiast. The Bad Religion cd “the Process of Belief” is perhaps the best punk cd in years. The music is excellent. It is as if punk has had another revival and this is the result. It is a show of force that punk music is still alive. It is also a shove in the face of the little pop-punk blink-182 posers. This cd shows that actual punk music is still alive, ticking, and can still throw a punch. A must have for anyone that that enjoys punk music or anyone that just enjoys good music. I need tickets to the No Doubt concert at Purdue. Who will buy me a ticket? You will be repaid. This may be my last chance for Gwen to fall in love with me.
Messages to people: Tim needs a place to live. Someone out there needs a roommate. Put two and two together. You could be Tim’s next roommate. Tim makes an excellent roommate. I listen to pop, reggae, ska, hip-hop, rap, punk, heavy metal, classical, jazz, instrumental, Celtic, and pretty much any type of music. I also own a microwave, refrigerator, TV, microwave, and a bookcase. Tim can also help with math homework and chemistry. Also, I am clean person and I do not smell. Choose Tim. Tim is the obvious choice for a roommate. He is the only choice. Tim for your roommate in 2002-2003. Paid for by Tim.
Passage From a book (to increase your culture):
“It was only when the whole ham was spoiled that it came into the department of Elzbieta.” From The Jungle by Upton Sinclair (so remember you need a refrigerator to keep a ham from a spoiling. Who has a refrigerator, Tim has a refrigerator. So, if Tim is your roommate you do not have to worry about a ham spoiling.)
Editorials: It is rather amazing. When we bomb a country near the mid- east gas prices go down. Perhaps, whenever gas prices go up we should bomb a country in the mid-east.
Sent in by Tim
(If you would like to see your editorial in the Tim Newsletter send it to me and I’ll put it in my next issue)
Goodbyes:
Adios, Auf Weidersehen,
Tim