Accept no imitations
March edition
Introduction:
Ah, beautiful March. Only in Indiana can you have 60°F weather and then the next day have snow. Tim is still bored out of his mind and dateless. I wonder how long this will continue…. This Newsletter by Tim is rather unfunny and very depressing, but it is because it is March, there is snow on the ground, and I am still dateless. Also I am listening to depressing music as I write this so don’t plan on this being funny or inspirational or uplifting. Instead plan on depression, boringness, and perhaps death, destruction, rioting, burning, and anarchy.
Current events: The university has broke down due to the relentless assault of emails in favor of Tim changing my Co-Op schedule. Tim 1, system 0. So Tim will be returning this fall. So mark your calendars, I WILL RETURN.
National News: Israel and the Palestinians are still killing each other and for some reason the world is surprised. I blame it on the sun, some blame it on inbreeding. Also, Operation Anaconda has come and passed. USA says it was a great success, Afghan allies says everyone got away. Who is correct? Is Bin Laden in a secret army base in Utah being molested by monkeys? Is Saddam and Bin Laden bed buddies? Is Russia still actually communist and just tricking us into trusting them so they can take over the US vodka industry? The world may never know. So get out and spread these rumors so they will be believed.
Technology news: Tim’s technology news is almost non-existent.
Auto week: Tim has got into a rather minor accident. Still has a car. Still needs to buy a new one. Please give me money.
Living Conditions: Tim, you have guessed it, still lives at home!!! Living conditions are going down hill. Food is still free, shelter is still free, telling a young lady that you still live at home with your parents: priceless.
Work: Work. Work. Work. Work. It is rather boring. I have been doing glass transition temp. testing. Long and boring. I need to start a union of Co-Op and interns so we could strike for better wages. Tim has found out today that Biomet is the second lowest paying company in the biomedical industry. It makes sense since Biomet is non-union. Perhaps, one of the only reasons unions are good: higher wages.
Internship Opportunities for You: I have found out that Biomet has not contacted anyone it wants to hirer as an intern yet. So if any of you have applied you still have a chance of getting one. Tim thinks it is because the company just found out yesterday that I would be staying at Biomet this summer.
Social Life: The life of working and having no social life. What a life!! Lots of sleep and plenty of free time. You would think Tim would be making the most of it but I would rather complain about it. It is more fun to complain and you attract more attention to yourself. However, now that Tim does not have to worry about having a job this summer a great weight has been taken off of my shoulders. I feel almost alive and social able. I almost feel like going out and meeting people so I have people to go to concerts with this summer.
Music: The Weakerthans CD “Left and Leaving” perhaps sums up how I feel, a little depressed and lonely. The band the Weakerthans consider themselves power-pop, they were pop-punk but they decided that pop-punk is not a good way to be classified. Their music is more of a folk-punk than anything except maybe emo but their music is really not emo so folk-punk will have to do. Their CD “Left and Leaving” is a masterpiece. The music is almost like the folk songs of the 70s with a very slight punk twist and most of their songs on this CD are slower and more melodic with some very peaceful songs about not fitting into society. The other band reviewed for this month is Dispatch. Dispatch is a band that plays a combination of reggae, funk, and rock. Their CD “Who Are We Living For” is a rather good combination of songs. However, for some reason the third song on the CD, Just Like Larry, does not fit in with the overall theme of the CD. It is a good song and I like it but it just does not fit in. The CD is a great CD and is a must have for anyone that likes the Dave Mathews Band or the Red Hot Chile Peppers, or just good music.
Messages to people: Well, Tim has no messages to people, BUT… I will be down at Purdue on Friday March 29 to sign some papers to change my Co-Op schedule so I will stop in to say hi. Also I will be coming down on the Saturday before the No Doubt concert so I need a place to sleep. And I will be down sometime around the 20th of April.
Passage From a book (to increase your culture):
“I assume you’re planning the most primitive form of seduction. Seduction with the aid of intoxicating beverages. In such cases one usually forgets to draw the cork beforehand. With a broken-necked bottle it’s awfully easy to slash your mug to ribbions in the excitement.”
From the book “A Time to Love, a Time to Die” by Erich Maria Remarque
(note from Tim: I need to get back to college so I can plan the most primitive form of seduction.)
Editorials:
(If you would like to see your editorial in the Tim Newsletter send it to me and I’ll put it in my next issue)
Goodbyes:
Adios, Auf Weidersehen,
Tim