Accept no
imitations
Sept. edition (9-2002)
http://tim.hopto.org/
Introduction:
School has
started and we are now all disillusioned once again about our majors. Many of us have forgotten our original
dreams and goals and just think about passing that next test or going to that
next party, but hope is near. The new
issue of the Official Tim Newsletter is out!!!
This issue is set to inspire you, make your life easier, make you more
desirable to the opposite sex, increase your grades, and perhaps make you into
a world class chef. Well, in truth your
life may be the same, you’ll get rejected more by the opposite sex, you will
flunk out of college, and you will eat dinner out of a can, but that is life. Just do the opposite of what I say and do
and your life should be much better.
Also remember to watch the Power Puff Girls. It is the best show on TV.
Current
events: On a more somber note, a member of my high
school graduating class passed away this month. Mandy Potoczky died Sept. 2 of this year. She is now with our maker. All of her tears are now washed away and she
is clad is a rope of white. If only we were
all as faithful to the Lord as she was this world would be a much better
place. The world could have used more
people like Mandy. Also, the one year
anniversary of Sept. 11 has come and passes.
I cannot say anything that could rival what others have said. I will leave them to provide you with the
words of comfort that I fail to give you.
“Man’s inhumanity to man
and worse still, to child
Another head hangs lowly
Child is slowly taken
And the violence caused such silence
Who are we mistaken”
From “Zombie” by the Cranberries
National News:
For a brief few
days this month it was thought Earth had a third natural moon, but it turned
out to piece of a rocket (BBC, 11 Sept. 2002).
Earth has TWO natural moons: the big moon we know as “The Moon”, and
Cruithne. Cruithne was discovered in
1986 and takes a horseshoe path around Earth due the gravity of the Moon.
Computer Gamming
is now illegal is Greece (BBC, 10 Sept. 2002).
In a move to outlaw computerized gambling Greece has outlawed computer
games and are prosecuting people who visit cyber-cafes and play non–gambling games
such as “Counter-strike”. Those who are
caught playing such games can be sent to jail for three months and a $4,950
fine. This really sucks for computer
gamers in my opinion. Why should people
that just want to escape the reality of their menial lives through computer
games be punished. Why don’t they just
outlaw chess and checkers also?
A high speed
condom applicator has been developed in South Africa (BBC, 6 Sept. 2002). It is for use for those that just didn’t
have time before or for those that cannot put it on in the dark. By using the applicator one can put one on
in 3 seconds as opposed to the 30-40 seconds it took before. I find this amazing. I am wondering how they went about studying
this, and how many volunteers they got?
Technology
news:
The Official Tim
Newsletter (OTN) is now online, ready to dominate the internet with its hard
hitting news. Visit www.tim.hopto.org. Will
the OTN take over all other news sources and drive them out of business, or
will it perform hostile takeovers of other news sources through mergers? These questions may never be answered in our
lifetime (lifetimes if you are Hindu).
Auto week:
France has
developed a car that runs off of compressed air (BBC, 25 Sept. 2002)!!! This is amazing because I thought the French
only made good wine and pastries (I can kid about France because I am part
French). The car has a top speed of 65
mph and a range of about 200km (124 miles).
It take 4 hours to charge up at hope using the supplied pump or you
could just go to your local compressed air dealer and tell them to fill you up
(it only takes 3 minutes). France has
now gained my respect. This car is said
to be practically un-polluting unless you count the pollution it takes to make
the electricity to run the pump to refill your car. If you count that it still pollutes, though less than a regular
internal combustion engine, which really sucks bad.
Living
Conditions:
Wiley Hall is
dirty, smelly, and loud. It is
home. I wish I lived someplace
else. If you would like for me to live
with you next year send me an email. I
need a place to live for next year because I am not returning to Wiley. Please, let me live with you.
Work:
I had an
interview with GM, but I blew the job interview. For some reason they looked beyond my low gpa and gave me an
interview. They emailed me saying it
was an “information session” so I dressed business casual, well it was
not. It was an actual interview. Everyone else showed up in suits. I suck.
If you would like to give me a job, sponsor the OTN, or would just like
to give me a place to live this summer email me and we can work out a deal.
Social Life:
Nothing like
Purdue to eliminate any thought of Tim getting a date. It is amazing how many ladies have
boyfriends, are married, and lesbians.
So Tim has given up on dating and is now much happier, and no longer
depressed as much. It is much easier to
give up than to actually try harder. I
am not saying that I have switched teams.
I still like women, alot. Dating
is such a hassle, it is much easier just to not worry about it. However, if a girl wanted to date me that is
a different story, she just needs to let me know that she likes me, but that is
really unlikely to happen.
Music:
Yeah!! It is
Tim’s top 6 songs. Move over Billboard,
TRL, and Rolling Stone. This is what I
listen too and not what preppy high school girls listen too.
Rank
Song Album Artist
1 The Closest “Start With a Strong and
Persistent Desire” Vex Red
2 You Want It, We Got It “Yellow #5” Mustard Plug
3 Cut it, ya match it “Gut the Van” Dispatch
4 Aluminum Flavored Honey “Original Sinners” Original
Sinners
5 Without Mythologies “Left and Leaving” The Weakerthans
6 Everybody’s Better “A Jackknife to a Swan” The
Mighty Mighty Bosstones
“Wow, I can’t
believe Tim listens to such awesome music,” you must be thinking. Well, while it is true a lot of these songs
are awesome, there is more awesome music out there. I just can’t listen to all music or own every cd.
Music Reviews:
A new added
feature: music reviews. I am now going
to review new cd releases, old cds and concerts that I have been too. I you are in a band, know people in a band,
think you had a dream about knowing someone that knows someone that knows
someone that is in a band, have that band (or your band) send me a cd to review
or have them let me know when their next show is so that I can review
them. When the new OTN webpage is
launched in January this will be a part of the webpage.
Review of
“Yellow #5” by Mustard Plug.
Mustard Plug is a
ska-punk band (like Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake, and the Mighty Mighty
Bosstones) from Michigan (wow, you may be thinking, that is a state). They have been around for about 10 years and
have put out five cds, included their latest release “Yellow #5”. “Yellow #5” is your typical ska-punk cd,
with and upbeat beat has the ability to make you feel good about yourself. While it is nothing innovated or a change in
style, it is really nice to hear good ska played and to fun with the
music. I give the cd 3.3/4 making this
the highest score I have given to a cd to date.
Review of a
live Mustard Plug show:
Many of you may
already know I saw Mustard Plug for the first time this month. I was expecting a good show since Mustard
Plug was kicked out of the Warped Tour for their fans being too rowdy. Well the show I went to, was not rowdy at
all. It was pretty much a typical
ska-punk show. The band put on a good
show but the lead singer (Dave Kirchgessner) kept of dropping the
microphone. Highlight of the show was
when Dave Kirchgessner, during one of the songs, came out into the crowed and
started attacking people with a plastic ax.
I got to be a victim. The crowed
really got into the performance and there was some skanking going on (skanking
is like happy mosh-pitting). I enjoyed
the show and that is all that matters. I give them a B+/A- (it could be lower,
but eh) at their live show, 4/5 stars, or 8/10.
Messages to
people: Hey IM me. My AIM name is: agaldor. I have no clue what is going on with some of
you. So email, IM, or do something to let
me know what’s up.
Passage From a
book (to increase your culture):
“Those who stand
about leaning on their weapons are hungry.
If those who draw water drink first, they are thirsty. When they see potential gain but do not know
whether to advance they are tired.”
From The Art
of War by Sun-tzu
Editorials:
(If you would
like to see your editorial in the Tim Newsletter send it to me and I’ll put it
in my next issue)
Advertisements
Oh, my goodness, the OTN has an advertisement.
OK, people the Purdue Water polo team wants me to tell you to go to water
polo meets. Watch as the Purdue Water
polo team demolishes their opponents. I
have no clue when the season starts so you should start waiting by the pool
now.
Goodbyes:
Adios, Auf
Weidersehen, don’t take any wooden nickels,
Tim
DISCLAIMER: The views listed in this newsletter (and all others I write) are not meant to taken seriously. Please do not be violent because of this newsletter. Be kind to animals. Everyone is equal. The Official Tim Newsletter is not responsible for what happens when people read this newsletter. Please do not hurt anyone because of this letter. God loves all of his creatures even though we are all fallen beings. Just remember all of us are fallen, but God still loves all of us equally. He loves the saved and the unsaved.